Aging and Attitudes
By Linda Medaris, M.C., RCC, RMFT
We live in a society that first and foremost prizes youth, beauty and vitality. As a result, we often find ourselves struggling against the aging process and attempting to do everything in our power to delay the inevitable. The most harmful consequence, however, is that we often renounce, dismiss, or reject our elderly, viewing them as a burden and a drain on society. In fact, old age has now come to be seen as a 'social problem'.
Robert Butler, a noted expert on aging, states that myths about aging have a powerful influence on the attitudes and actions of society. Myths such as the assumptions that the elderly are non-productive, sick, mentally incompetent, a drain on their families, asexual or perverted, inefficient in the workplace, humourless, mean, impatient, uninterested and uninteresting, inflexible and self-centered. The stereotyping and discrimination of people because they are old marginalizes older people and deprives them of the dignity, fair treatment, and social involvement. Rather than acknowledging aging as a normal, natural process, we learn to fear it and to do everything we can to prevent it. Could this pervasive and negative approach to aging be associated with our deepest fears about our aging process and negative feelings about our own eventual death? We work really hard in our society at NOT thinking about the issue of death. As a consequence, we miss amazing, and, yes, sometimes painful opportunities for meaningful growth -- not only for our seniors but for ourselves as well.
Henri Nouwen has written, “our first and most important task is to help the elderly become our teachers again and to restore the broken connections among the generations.”
Some ways we can accomplish this are:
- Examine our own biases and deep-seated prejudices about aging and the elderly
- Educate ourselves about the aging process
- Promote a more realistic understanding of aging as part of human development
- Promote increased contact between generations
- Develop greater awareness of and sensitivity to the needs of older individuals
- Bring the issue of the negative stereotyping of our seniors (ageism) into the open so as to facilitate greater public awareness and sensitivity.
Linda is a Registered Clinical Counsellor, Registered Marriage & Family Therapist, Approved Clinical Supervisor and Certified EMDR trauma therapist. She received her Masters degree in counselling from Trinity Western University and completed specialized training in marriage and family therapy as well as Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR). Linda is committed to helping individuals, couples and families understand and work through the painful and distressing symptoms that are often associated with the difficulties and challenges of life.
